CHAPTER
II
Marriage should be understood as sinners living together
because has fallen short of its glory in the Garden of Eden. Marriage has
pitifully short of Biblical norms. But marriage could be making biblical by the
husbands and wives in the marriage. Marriages could be successful if they are
Christians. Christian’s marriage could be successful if they follow Bible. This
is made possible by the husbands and wives in the marriages with the help of
God. Marriage failed because and was destroyed. This fact should be realized.
The marriage fail because it involves people who themselves failed of sin.
Remedies must be taken. There is sure restoration by God for marriage and His
people. For a marriage to be a Christian it must involves Christians in it
which it in turn must involve Christ. The engagement between Christ and His
bride was the foremost thing in that glorious relationship. This should
considering both husband and wife as His church.
Realization of Sin and Failure
Everything that involves man has a sin problem in it, so
also the, marriage. It should be realized that this problem is because of the
broken relationship. It should be realized that the problem is because of the
deception by the tempter which cause doubt on God and his word and the curse of
God on both Human race and the marriage. There should be realization that Satan
has corrupter\d and confused everything in the world including man and
marriage.[1]
Restoration From Sin and Failure
Mans disobedience brought the curse of sin and death in
both marriage and in man himself. But Christ came to redeem from the curse.
Marriage has not lost the hope. There is hope for everyman and every marriage.
Some Christian marriages today have started feeling that they have lost their
hope, which is not true. As the sin and failure should be realized so also the
hope, the Christian hope. It is revealed in the Holy Scripture which must be
genuinely located. The bible has the answer for the sin problem and God gives
the answer and restoration. There is hope for marital problem by following
God’s procedures rather than following marriage counsellor. By the resource of
God a marriage would be successful. God, in His providence has made available
new means for handling, the added difficulty on marriage, at the fall.[2]
Repentance From Sin and Failure
When there is a realization of sin and failure in oneself
and marriage and Cohen there is a hope of restoration than it will be followed
by repentance. Sins should be admitted. Something has to be done about the sin.
There should be progress out of the sin, for Bible is the standard of faith and
practice of marriage.[3]
Christ and Church in the Bridal
Church
Christ has engaged the church as His Bride. As the Church
walks a bridal walk with Christ, the walk is characterized by many things
Chapter 4 of Ephesians has open with the discussion of the Christian walk that
is daily manners of life as a Christian. Paul entreats the believers to walk
worthy of calling.[4]
Bridal
Walk Characterized by a New Love
The bridal walk of the church with Christ characterized
by new love is aserious command. The beloved bride has become a members of the
heavenly family and is expected to share seriously in bearing her new family’s
likeness. The church or every believer must walk in love because Christ has
loved His Bride with His divine love and gave himself not merely His riches.
This is a unique commandment for the church alone. This Christian walks of love
should not be only understand as a believer walking in love with Christy but it
also the integral part of basic Christian relationships.[5]
Imitation in New Love
The way God would do things was certainly pointed out in
Ephesians 5:1-17. The believers are called to imitate God and it is known that
there is nothing new of Him. Christ was the model who had to be imitate and the
church was the follower who and to imitate Christ. Each Christian should be
imitator of God because he is God’s child. As a child imitates his parents, so
ought a believer to imitate God (Matthew 5:48; Luke 6:36).[6] A
child of god has to imitate Christ. Though the process of engagement was in the
past tense, the phrase in Greek is to be the follower of god (Gk. Gives
mimeetai tou thou), is indicated by the present tenser since it is a process of
change. In order conclusion it is a commandment to change to a style of life. Just
as an unmarried man and an unmarried woman, at engagement upon marriage, faces
a completely new daily life with all of its requirements and responsibilities,
as a believer faces his or her new life with Christ[7] .
Christian
marriage is shaping into the image of Christ, the husband and wife growing in
grace daily, as church grew. Biblical imitation is part of the earliest
Christian tradition. The church is called to be the imitators so also should be
the husband and wife in marriage.
Unity in New Love
The
walk of New Love is not a solitary walk. It is the church walking with Christ
and in marriage, the husband and the wife walking together in unity along with
Christ. Paul stress, “Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond
of peace. These is one body, and one Spirit even as ye are called in one hope
of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and father of all….”
Ephesians 4:3-6. The stress was on unity-walking together in unity in the name
and for the sake of Jesus Christ. There should be unity between husbands and
wives in the marriage. This unity is not uniformity or compatibility.[8]
The
Compatibly in the Unity
In fact, compatibility could be a dangerous word in
Christian marriage. It could lead to disastrous consequences, for it does not
occur in scripture. The entire concept of compatibility must be re-examined
biblically. The biblical fact is that no two persons are compatible. People
were not born compatible; they only become compatible by the sanctifying work
of the Holy Spirit. For two people to be compatible in any true sense of the
term means that they first must become Christian and then by God’s grace, work
hard at the task of becoming compatible. For the first is being Christian,
second is that the two in the marriage not only desire to but growingly gives
evidence of an ability to face talk over, and solve problems together from
God’s word in God’s way. There should be unity in the marriage but could not be
a true compatibility.[9]
Reconciliation
and Forgiveness in the Unity
Husband and wife could not walk together because they did
not agree. There were loose ends between husbands and wives because of reconciled
state. There was no excuse for this loose condition, for the Bible did not
allow for loose ends. God did want no loose ends. In Matthew 5:23-24,
reconciliation took precedence over worship. Everyday sins must be set right
with God, through once reconciliation had taken place. So also should be in the
marriage. There should be reconciliation at the marriage and in the marriage.
Reconciliation in marriage is not once for all, but it should be on progress
process like confessing the personal sins to God every day. This is mutual.[10]
Bridal walk Characterized by a New
Light
God has called the church for the bridal walk with regard
to spiritual propriety, and ethical expectation God has established as a
spiritual tradition. It is with what is to be strictly avoided in the practice
of Christ’s bride during it’s time in this world and age. The church or
believer should maintain strict separation from the worldings and worldliness.
There is to be no participation with the world. The believer’s should avoid
sharing with the worldlings in their activities in the moral darkness. The
bride has to enter in and enjoy what is provided in the new spiritual light.
There is a spiritual pleasure available to the bride that is found nowhere
else. This bridal walk in the new light, is also made important because it is a
commandment unique to the New Testament. The life before and after salvation is
differentiated by light.[11]
The source of the New
Life
The
source of light is God… “God is light…” I John 1:5. Everything from God is
light. Walking in the new light also means walking in Him. Light in God reaches
to believers in many ways and make the believer also, light.[12]
Word
of God is Light
Psalmist
said, “Thy word is the lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” God’s word
could direct believers in their daily Christians lives. God’s word is like a
lamp and light to direct one’s conduct (Pro. 6:23). Word of God is so important
in believers’ life to lead him. Word of God is so important in a marriage to be
guided. Word of God reveals the pattern for marriage and for every day
Christian life.[13]
Holy
Spirit is Light
“…But as the same anointing teacheth you of all thing…”
the anointing is the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit teaches the believer of all
things. The Spirit of God illuminates. He enlightens the believers. The power
and the guidance of Holy Spirit is so much needed in marriage.[14]
People
of God are Light
Matthew
5:14, “Ye are the Light.” God’s people are light. Paul in Ephesians said
Christians are to be God’s light in the midst of the world’s darkness. They are
to be enlightening element, and this is to be so precisely because they have
first been enlightened. God’s light is shone on believers through other believers.
This is a very special kind of God’s guidance in both marriage and in a
believer’s life.[15]
Christ Refraining the Old
Life
The self-centred vices in conduct and speech are the
opposite of self-centred love. The self-centred vices portrait selfishness and
unconcern for others, a believer should not have even a hint of sexual
immorality (Porneia), any kind of impurity, and Greed, improprieties in speech-obscenity
(aischrotes, “shameless talk and conduct”), foolish talk (morologia, literally
“stupid words”), and coarse, jesting (eutrapelia, “vulgar, frivolous wit”), are
improper for believers. All these teardown not only the spiritual life but also
the marriage. The husband and wife in the marriage should have been refrained
from the old life of sin. Believers should be imitators of God not evil doers
and should have no inheritance with the evil doers.[16]
Church in the New Life and
Light
Walking in light is enforced as a reference to a believer’s
conversion from a previous state of sin and misery to one of holiness and
blessedness. As light stands for knowledge and as knowledge, in the spiritual
sense of the word, produces holiness and blessedness. As light for knowledge,
in the scriptural sense of the word produces holiness and holiness happiness,
which is essential in a marriage but darkness stands for ignorance as
inevitably produces sin and sin misery. “Ye were darkness’” means believers
before their salvation were ignorant, polluted and wretched. “…but now are ye light in the lord” means
believers upon salvation are enlightened, sanctified and blessed in virtue of
union with the lord. Walking as children of the light means those believers as
the children of holiness and truth. The husbands and wives in the marriage, as walking
in the light they walk a true and holy walk which will give no place for sin
and unfaithfulness in the marriage. Children of light are enlightened. The
husbands and wives in the marriage should be enlightened in the lord to have a
successful Christian marriage. They are to walk in a way consistence with the
character as illuminated and sanctified by the union with the lord Jesus. The
behaviour of saints should correspond with their positions. Since they are
children of light, that is since their very nature is spiritual light, they are
to live accordingly.[17]
Fruit of Light
The
evil and the good included all classes of the vicious and the virtuous. Good work
is works of any kind which are morally excellent. These two words are even
distinguished in Romans 5, 7 and Romans 7, 12 good means benevolent or beneficent;
and righteous, just or upright. Goodness is that quality which adapts a thing
to the end for which it was designed, and renders it serviceable. This very
quality of goodne3ss is very much needed in the marriage, very much needed in
both husband and wife to adapt things to the end for which they were designed
and to be serviceable, to make a marriage Christian and successful.[18]
Righteousness could properly be predicted only of persons
or of what is susceptible of moral character; as it means conformity to law; or
if predicted of the law itself, it means conformity to the nature of God, the
ultimate standard of rectitude whereas sin is contrary to the nature of God.
Righteousness keeps a Christian spiritual and away from sin. This is so much
essential in a marriage to keep it pure, Christian and successful filling
meeting the standard of God for marriage. Truth is religious or moral truth or
the religion itself. It is the ability to express God, the light by words. It
is communicating truth about God and Salvation.[19]
Proving Acceptable to
God
Verse 9 is a parenthesis, as the 10th verse is
grammatically connected with verse 8 of Ephesians 5. “Walk as children of the
light, proving, peripateite
dokimasontes dokimasein is to try, to put to the test, to
examine, then to judge or estimate; and then to approve. Thus it is said, “The
fire shall try every mans work;” God is said “To try the heart;” believers are
said “TO be renewed so as to prove the will of God,” Romans 12, 2 that is, to
examine and determine what the will of God is. So believers are required to
walk as children of light, examining and determining what is acceptable to the
Lord. They are to regulate their conduct by a regard to what is well pleasing to
Him. That is the ultimate standard of judging whether anything is right or wrong,
worthy or unworthy to those who have been enlightened.[20]
Believers
are to be proving acceptable in the Lord. The word LORD is in the New Testament
so predominantly used to designate the Lord Jesus Christ that it is always to
be referred to him unless the contest forbids it. But this “Lord” evidently
designates Christ. This Ephesians 5:10 is one of the numerous passages in the
New Testament, in which Christ is recognized as the Lord of the conscience,
whose will is to believers the ultimate standard of right and wrong, and to Him
believers are responsible for outward and inward acts. Christ is Lord in every believer’s
life. So also should be in every Christian marriage. The husbands and wives in
the marriage must have Christ as the Lord and in every marriage as the Lord
which will lead to a Christian marriage which is successful. [21]
Work of Darkness
Works of light is in the believers who are subjected to divine
illumination. But Apostle Paul in Ephe. 5:11-12 referred to the sin of those
still in darkness. Those sins are called “the unfruitful works of darkness.” By
unfruitful work of darkness is meant not merely barren or worthless, but
positive evil. For in a moral subject the negation of good is evil. Works of
darkness are those work which spring from darkness, i.e. from ignorance of God;
as “works of light” are those works which light or divine knowledge produces.[22]
The duty of Christian in reference to the works of
darkness is twofold; first, to have no communion with the children of darkness;
and secondly, to reprove the children of darkness. The former is expressed by
the works of me sugkoinoneite,
have not fellowship with them. Those who have things in common; who are
congenial; who have the same views, feelings, and interest; and who therefore
delight in each other’s society, are said to be in fellowship. In this sense
believers have fellowship with God and with each others. So the believers are
said to have fellowship in anything which God delights in.[23]
The second duty of a Christian is to reprove the children
of darkness. Elegzein is not simply to reprove in the sense of admonishing or
rebuking. It means to convince by evidence. It expresses the effect of
illumination by which the true nature of anything is revealed. When the Spirit
is said to reprove men of sin, it means that he sheds such light upon their
sins as to reveal their true character and to produce the consequent
consciousness of guilt and pollution.[24]
The works of darkness should be reproved, “For it is a
shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.” There
would be two reasons that sins are called works of darkness. The first and
principle one is, they spring from darkness or ignorance of God; and second is,
because they are committed in darkness. They shun the light. The exceeding
turpitude of the sins should be reproved. However vile the sins are capable of
being corrupted. They are beyond cure. Sins should be reproved. In the light of
divine truth it could be corrected and healed.[25]
Bridal Walk Characterized by a New
Wisdom
For fifth time Paul used to word “walk”
(peripatio) translated live in the NIV. Here Paul instructed believers to be
wise in their walk or conduct by the action of walking wisely.
The Action of working Nicely
The NIV’s be very careful, then, how you live is
literally, “look therefore carefully how you walk.” The word carefully is
placed in two different places in different translations. If the adverb
“carefully” (akribos, lit “accurately”) modify look then it should be “…
therefore look carefully how you walk” but if “carefully” modify walk then it
is “therefore look that you walk carefully.” The second alternative is
preferred because better Greek manuscripts place akribos closer to the Greek
word ‘walk’ and because in the New Testament the Greek imperative “look”
(blepete) is never modified but an adverb. The KJV has translated, “… ye walk
circumspectly…”, thus focussing on the careful walk Believers then, are to walk
a live carefully, so as to be wise a skilful and thus please the Lord. The
manner foe this careful, precise walk is making the right use of every
opportunity (Col. 4:5), in sin and since the time is short believer must make
full use of their time to help turn them from darkness to light. This
necessitates wise conduct.[26]
The State of Being Wise
Rather than being foolish (aphrones, “senseless”) or
“unwise” (asophoi), Christian are to understand (syniete “comprehend
intellectually”), what the lord’s will is. Only after one understands what
pleases God (V.1) can he carry it out in his life. People in the light are
enlightened and they are wise. Therefore believers should carefully depart
themselves not as the heathen and un renewed, who have not the divine light but as of those who are
enlightened from above and are therefore wise. Believers are bound to walk as
wise men because the days are evil. Believers shold not be senseless,
unthinking, trifling but must make right use of understanding, seeing things in
true light and estimate things according to their relatives importance.[27]
Wisely Understanding the
Will of God
“The knowledge of the
will of God is wisdom” said Moody.[28]
This leads to the area where Christian exercise true wisdom in understanding
what the will of the lord is. Knowing God’s will does not need some special
mystical experience or revelation. But this is possible by studying bible
allowing the Holy Spirit to illuminate it to the understanding and apply it to
the heart and circumstance. God’s will is revealed in the scripture which is
the wisdom. This is learning what God says and lives.[29]
God
has Given the Mind
“Understanding” suggests using minds to discover and do
the will of God. One could discover the will of God as He transforms the mind
(Romans 12:1-2), and this transformation is the result of the word of God,
prayer, meditation and worship. God has given the mind and He expects the
believers to use it. This means that learning His will involves gathering
facts, examining them, weighing them, and praying for His wisdom (James 1:5). God does not want
the believers simply to know his will but He wants them to understand His will.[30]
God
has a Plan for the Life
If God saved the believers he has purpose for their
lives, and they should discover that purpose and then guide their life
accordingly. He reveals His plan through His word (Colossians 1:9-10), His
spirit in our heart (Colossians 3:15), and the working of circumstances (Romans
8:28). The Christian can walk carefully and accurately because he can know what
God wants him to do.[31]
Marriage will follow the God given patter. It could
follow the pattern of Church, the bride and Christ the groom. It could apply
the principles found in the relationship between Christ and the church. Since
God was perfect and the saints there was nothing newly started in this
relationship. It was all to the church the newness was given. Christ did not
have to show new love to the church because it was already there. But it was
the church that had to exhibits new life for Christ. It was the church who had
to refrain the old life and lives a new life walking in a new light and wisdom.
Paul said church to be the imitator, imitating the love, light and wisdom that
which were in Christ. Marriage is between two imperfect people in which both
should imitate Christ as the church. Hence in this case husbands could not be
compared to Christ but to the church along with the wives. In this both husband
and wife are the symbol of church, for there is mutuality in marriage.
[1] Dr. Henry
Cloud, Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries in
Marriage: Compassion and Forgiveness, (Michigan: Zondervan, 1999), 138.
[2] Lana
Packer, Women Making a Difference in
Marriage, (Tennessee: Life way Press, 2001), 25.
[3] James
Montgomery Boice, Ephesians an Expository
commentary: On the Imitation of God, (Michigan: Zondervan Publications,
1974), 151.
[4] John Mac.
Arthur, Walk Worthy (California: Word
of Grace Communications, 1989), 11.
[5] Ibid.
92-94.
[6] Jay. E
Adams, Christian Living in the home,
(New Jersey: Presbyterians and Reformed Publishing Company, 1973), 11
[7] Douglas
B. MacCorkle ,God’s Special Secret (
Florida: MBM Books,1993), 177.
[8] Jay. E
Adams, Christian Living in the home, 12.
[9] Jay. E
Adams, Christian Living in the home, 12.
[10] Ibid.14.
[11] Douglas
B. MacCorkle ,God’s Special Secret,
176.
[12] Dr. Tom
Sexton, Preaching: On Light, 23/1/12.
SIBBC &S.
[13] Dr. Tom
Sexton, Preaching: On Light, 23/1/12.
SIBBC &S.
[14] Dr. Tom
Sexton, Preaching: On Light, 23/1/12.
SIBBC &S.
[15] Dr. Tom
Sexton, Preaching: On Light, 23/1/12.
SIBBC &S.
[16] Dale,
Moody, Christ and the Church, (Michigan:
Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1963), 105.
[17] Charlse
Hodge, Thornapple Commentaries: A
Commentary on the Epistle to the Ephesians, (Michigan: Baker Book House,
1856), 288-289.
[18] Ibid, 290
[19] Ibid
[20] Ibid, 291
[21] ibid
[22] James Montgomery Boice, Ephesians an Expositional Commentary,
157
[23] James Montgomery Boice, Ephesians an Expositional Commentary,
157
[24] Ibid, 158
[25] Ibid
[26] John F. Walvoord, The Bible knowledge Commentary,(Colorado:
Victor Books, 1983), 639
[27] John F. Walvoord, The Bible knowledge Commentary, 640.
[28] Dale Moody, Christ and the Church, 110
[29] Ibid
[30] Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Rich( Illinois: Victor Books,
1976),131
[31] Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Rich, 132.
CHAPTER 1 -AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE FACTORS THAT MAKE SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE SO DIFFICULT-CHAPTER 2 -AN UNDERSTANDING OF CHRIST AND THE CHURCH IN THE ENGAGEMENT -CHAPTER 3 -AN UNDERSTANDING OF CHRIST AND THE CHURCH IN THE MARITAL EXPERIENCE -CHAPTER 4 - AN UNDERSTANDING OF CHRIST AND THE CHURCH IN THE MARITAL EXPECTATION
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